Michael Bey in Graph Form

http://frankenspace.com/images/bayhem_internets.jpg

Resident Evil 4 in IMAX in 3D

Yeah, okay, first time 3D viewer, second or third time IMAX watcher, thanks for taking my call. Resident Evil 1 was alright. Resident Evil 2 was…not as good, so from alright to not as good. Resident Evil 3 was bad, though Mill Jojovich looked great.

Now, in 3D, in IMAX, we get to see Ali Larter heaving breath into her wonderful frame. And there are some dead guys, a lot of badly scripted dialogue, and 3D really isn’t that great.

Best use of 3D? Particle effects. Unnecessary, distracting particle effects. Alice likes to use quarters in your shotgun instead of regular shells because quarters look cooler in 3D.**

4 is better than 2 or 3, not as alright as 1, and anything is better than “Inception.”*

* Did I mention I’m going to punch Christopher Nolan in his fucking face if I ever meet him?

** The quarters thing? Stolen from the anime, “Ghost in the Shell.”

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D Reviews

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D Movie Reviews – Movietimes.com: “”

(Via .)

If you like the games, see it!
If you have epilepsy, don’t see it!

Review of “Inception”

If I ever meet Christopher Nolan in person, I’m going to punch him in his fucking face. What a ridiculous series of heartless, meaningless scenes, topped with an ending that could only serve to annoy by resolving, illustrating, or revealing nothing.

“Repo Men”

In brief, everything about this movie was wrong. The characters were wrong, the situation was wrong, the ending was very wrong, and basically it was all just a festival of wrong. It wanted to be “Clockwork Orange” but of course didn’t have Kubrick to direct. It wanted to be social commentary, but there were no characters to make the commentary. It wanted to be entertaining, but watching was basically drudge work.

And yet somebody thought it would make money.